Sunday, April 22, 2012

Why is female leadership is better for everyone?

Beyond the generalize answer of we (females) are natural and better leaders around the house and family, there are almost countless other good reasons to establish a female lead household. For our female readers who are all ready in charge, this article will contain information you already know. For those female readers considering taking charge, or recently took charge, I hope you find this supportive and helpful. For our male readers seeking to have their partners take charge of them, I hope this give you some help.

This is really about my reasons for taking charge, and based on my experiences. Individual cases may be similar or entirely different. The value of help is taking bits and pieces and making them work for you.

My Mom was in charge of our household. She did not extend her authority to all elements of our dad’s behavior, but she was clearly in charge. miss sissy kay’s Mom was also in charge of her household, but passed before I could gain Her confidence and experiences. In kay’s house, there were elements of spousal abuse, which certainly influenced kay’s willingness to surrender control to Me. Following my Mothers lead, I felt taking charge of my dates, boy friends, and husband was both natural and part of my early training.

Without doubt, I like having control, control of everything. My Sister and I were not allowed to be mean or selfish when we were growing up, therefore, my leadership style did not evolve as mean, self-centered, or selfish. However, my control and leadership style allow Me to convert Kenny to mr k to miss sissy kay, provide leadership to the entire family, and extend my leadership to my work. We did not establish our relationship overnight. For Me, and us, it took many years. Of course, we did not have the resources available today for assistance.

Today, females already run the majority of American household. The female manages almost all of the family decisions, activities, and money. Thus, for the majority of families, You only have to take greater, stronger, and complete control of Your resident male(s) behaviors. So ladies, seriously consider taking full control. You will enjoy the change. If Your man is a hard core alpha male, conversion will not be easy. You may have to deny him access to your body for a long time to get his attention. Fortunately for Me, I did not have to deal with that experience. When I was dating, any date with big hands demanding quick access to any part of Me, found the date cut short. I simply did not like such behavior, and would not tolerate it. I loved the idea of romance on a date. I love the concept of “I control access to my body”. I hope others with experience converting the alpha male character will add comments for Your assistance.

Is your household a two income family? Then you work as hard, or may be harder, than Your partner. So, when Your man thinks he is entitled to, or has earned the right to play golf with the boys, or go to a game with the guys when there are unfinished household chores to be done, he is wrong and his reality needs adjusting. You worked just as hard, You are just as stressed, and You are just as entitled to go play with the guys, or girls, as he is.

The baseline for our relationship came from this recognition. We both worked; we both worked hard; we both liked to rest and play; but I established the fundamental guideline that has worked for us; No rest, time-off, play events until all the household chores are complete. In the beginning, I helped with the household chores. At least I allow mr K to believe I was helping. I was actually teaching him how to do such tasks in My house. When we lived in apartments, cleaning, washing clothes, ironing, cooking, doing dishes, and completing our graduate school home work were the primary chores. mr k learned to get everything done during the week, so part or all of the weekend was available for events I approved. Until the first spanking event, describe in an earlier article, I teased and denied mr k to mold his behavior. I would vary My dress; shirt and jeans, his shirt and My short skirt (no bra and panties, or no panties), scrub top and panties, panties only, bra only, bra and panty hose. The different clothes associated sexy fun with chores. It was not hard to get mr k to vary his clothes as well. Quickly we eliminated his under pants in the house and on weekends. kay without under wear made it easy for Me to play with his “funny little thing”. The phrase I used to set his status below my great boobs and pussy. When we had fun doing our chores, I would tease him, compliment him, and then reward him with some sex. However, after about three months, the sex did not always include an orgasm for him. I always had an orgasm. Torment has its benefits. he learned that his pleasure required wearing sexier or less clothing, doing a larger share of chores, and satisfying Me more intensely. On My first wedding anniversary, I gave him his big reward, he own panties. By month ten kay was a good house maid on his way to becoming a sissy. I believe a good maid should have panties. Throughout the years, I have continued to help, instruct, and grant rewards, or punishments, for his chore performance. Before we had kids, mr k had become miss sissy kay. While the kids were growing up, all the family members referred to him as kay rather than Ken. Kay still wore panties under his unisex clothes at home, and always went to work in panties.

In My household, I established guidelines rather than rules. I felt guidelines implied an opportunity for discussion and contribution. There was only My way, but leaving kay with the feeling of input worked. Knowing Your house is always clean, chores are always finished, and You can play where and when You desire, is ample reason to take charge. Once we had kids, many of the guidelines, those dealing with general behavior, tasks, and expectations that apply to everyone in the house, become rules. Children deal better with fixed rules and expectations.

Once You decide You are taking full control, think about the best way to introduce Your goals and how You are going to institute the change. Create a plan and a timeline. Then talk to Your subject. If sex is involved, he will listen and participate in the conversation. If he has asked You to take control You can move quickly. If You just think he will accept Your full control, the discussion will be very important and sill set a great future for both of you.

Why should You take control? For Me, control allows Me to have a clear and positive impact on the lives and success of My family. Yes, that is a big picture concept. Some of the great benefits I have enjoyed over the years include: having a partner who love you; a partner who makes you happy all the time; a partner who has and expresses his opinions without demanding his opinion prevail, and now knowing in declining health My sissy will still do all he can to keep me comfortable.

There are also so very fun reasons I cannot under state. Seeing Your man cleaning the house in panties is great. Pulling your man by his cock anytime, anywhere, is very powerful. Knowing Your man is not going to show his panties or chastity devise to just any women is comforting. Telling Your man to wear a dress is fun. The invention of lycra, spandex and spanx has added greatly to our fun. Most men like looking at tight fitting clothes, and it is not hard to get them to wear such clothes. Helping Your man find and engage women or men with who both of You can play with is wonderful. Watching Your man suck his first cock is a great memory. Watching Your man present his pussy to You or anyone else You allow access does not get old. Knowing if You call Your man while he is driving the car telling him to pull his cock out of his panties, he will do it. If You enjoy sex, knowing You can have it where and when you want it just plain enjoyable.

For mss sissy kay and I, we have worked hard at our relationship. We know how to talk to each other. We have learned limits, respect, and are still very much in love with each. I think there are lots of very good reasons to establish a female lead relationship or marriage.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

The first full day with Mom and Lt. k

I did not expect to start spanking mr. k when I did. We were early in our development as a female lead marriage, and I had not set a timetable for moving forward. In fact it would be a couple of more years before I started calling mr k; miss k, miss sissy k, or just sissy.

Clearly my Mom was the head of our house when I was growing up. However, she had not invoked the level of command and control that I had in mind and was testing. I was encouraged by the willingness of Mom to exchange her thoughts on the ideas I shared in our private letters. I was even more delighted with Her immediate acceptance of bring mr k panties and medical scrub tops on Her first visit to Germany. However, there was no way to plan for mr k dropping the “f” word while being teased by Mom. mr k knew that was unacceptable and would require punishment. I am certain he did not think the punishment would be a spanking with Mom as a witness. I thought he handled the pain and humiliation as well as could be expect. Taking his panties away from him and leaving him with the thought that while Mom was still visiting, he would be half naked when he was at home was a good re-enforcement action. Denial of a privilege is always a good punishment.

When breakfast was done, it was time to get on with the rest of the day. I told Mom it was time to get ready to go out, while I took mr k by his cock again and lead him to My bedroom. I sat on the edge of the bed and made him kneel between my legs. I explained the reason and extent of his punishment. I ask him if he understood. I then had him eat me to a wonderful orgasm.

We then dressed for our day showing Mom around. As we were going out, I had him put his panties on. Our first stop was to the coin laundry facility on the base to do our weekly laundry. This was a routine Friday activity for us. It also gave us a chance to show Mom our small base. On our way home, we did a little tour of the village we lived in. We took the laundry home. mr k brought the laundry baskets in the house. Once in the house, I reminded him to take off his pants and panties. he put the laundry away, and then fixed lunch.

Mid afternoon, I had him put his panties and pants back on, as we left for our trip out to Rothenburg ob der Tauber. Rothenburg is a wonderful wall city about an hour and a half from our house. It is a great place to start a tour of Germany, with great art galleries, nice little shops, and excellent places to eat. The drive took us through many nice villages and very pleasant scenic farms. We walked around the city, brought a painting, and watched the play performed in the market square. We selected a restaurant for dinner. We had mr k take our shopping packages back to the car before we ate. While he did that, Mom and I quickly went back to a shop we visited earlier to buy mr k a special gift.

Given the distance to the car, we arrived at the restaurant just ahead of mr k. He noticed the new package and asked if he should take it to the car. We said no, and when into eat. Since this was Mom first German meal, we had fun going over the menu with Her, and teaching Her the German names for all the eating utensils on the table. We had a wonderful meal. The conversation was light and comfortable for everyone. At our encouragement, mr k had three beers and a glass of wine with his dinner.

When we returned to the car, I told mr k he had consumed too much beer and wine to drive and I would drive home. I then told him the last package we purchased as a present for him. It was to remind him of his transgression and poor choice of language earlier in the day. His puzzled face was almost priceless. Looking around at the darkness of our parking location, and seeing we were the only people around, I directed k to open the bag, take off his pants, and put on his present. He opened the bag as directed, but lowered his head and slumped against the car as he did. He realized there might be no end to his punishment, and as he realized what was in the bag. From the bag, he pulled a gray skirt. his eyes filled with tears, as he pleaded; “Ms. Barbara, i am an Army Officer, please do not make me wear this". My only reply was; “mr k, you are off duty, you are with family, you royally screwed up this morning, you are not going to screw up again, you are not going to forget your mistake, and you are going to show us your appreciation for your new skirt by wearing it on the trip home. Now, get your pants off quickly and get in the back seat". Trembling as he does when he is both nervous and excited, he took of his pants and put on his skirt.

On our hour and half drive home, Mom thanked k for a wonderful day, and his acceptance of his “reminder skirt”. Mom also talked about some of the interesting articles She had been reading in our collection of “Variations” magazine. Mom seemed to like the stories about female domination and cross-dressing husbands. Just like k and I, She was not certain the stories were true, but She liked the lifestyle within the stories. Mom felt it was refreshing that we were willing to try new things and consider expanding what She had decided was Her start of a female dominated house. At one point, She turned to k and said; “ms k, I am thrilled you have the trust and confidence to wear panties, accept not wearing panties as a loss of privilege, and now you are wearing your “reminder skirt”. Regardless of how Barb and you live your lives, your willingness to experiment is wonderful. I wish I knew or thought about what you are doing when I was younger. It certainly would not have been accepted by my parents, but dad and I could have experimented in private”. Her statement amazed me. I said; “Mom, we thank you for your support. Honestly, I was not sure we would share as much as we have so quickly. I am certain this is rather hard and embarrassing for k, but, short of his outburst this morning, I am please we can share his training with You. k you agree with that, don’t you? Between sniffles and tears, k said; “yes, it is good we can share my training with You, and i am sorry for my outburst this morning. Thank You for Your gifts.”

As we pulled into our village, I suggest we all carry our packages in the house, then have a cup of tea. As I had expected, the village was dark when we arrived home, so k could walk into our house, with minimal risk of being seen. Given his work, it would not be good for him if he were discovered in a skirt. To avoid another incident, I reminded k to put on his scrub top and nothing else.

Once in the house, Mom and I put on our nightgowns, k put on his scrub top and we met in the kitchen for tea. Just to be a little mean, as we sat drinking our tea and talking about our day in Rothenburg, I kept rubbing k’s leg. By the time we cleared the table and said good night to Mom, k was as hard as a rock. As Mom hugged and kissed k good night, She said, “oh k your funny thing feels good rubbing against Me, may be Barb will reward you for a wonderful day. you will have to tell Me at breakfast if She does”. Mom smiled at me as She patted k’s ass and went off to bed. I pulled k to bed where I did reward his tongue and his funny little cock with access to my love hungry pussy. I even allowed him to release in Me. 

Since My honeymoon introduction of k’s panties, we had been slowly training k in his evolving submissive life. In the first 48 hours of Mom visit, his training advanced very rapidly. I thought I might add spanking to our life, but I did not think it would be in front of Mom. I was also not sure I would put k in a skirt, but Mom encouraged a spare of the moment decision. I was please with all of these developments and k was holding on. I decided we could advance at a quicker pace, but I would need to mix discipline, punishment, and support in right proportion.